


Touching Moments

by OneStepAhead684



Category: To All the Boys I've Loved Before Series - Jenny Han, To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before (2018)
Genre: Established Relationship, F/M, First Time, Firsts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-28
Updated: 2018-12-08
Packaged: 2019-09-01 13:29:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 4
Words: 5,717
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16766095
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OneStepAhead684/pseuds/OneStepAhead684
Summary: It’s not that Lara Jean had never thought about sex. She has thought about it, more frequently now that she was dating Peter. And even if those thoughts usually caused her to become flustered and shift her attention to a safer topic, like baking, Lara Jean did want to have sex with Peter. She just needed to become acclimated to the idea of sex. Confronting her hesitant nature, Lara Jean tests the waters so that she can dive deep with Peter.Or: AU in which Lara Jean is not a blushing flower.





	1. Good Luck

**Author's Note:**

> This fic follows movie-verse only (I have not read the books).

Lara Jean and Peter had been non-contractually dating for a month now, which, to her surprise, was not that much different than their contracted relationship before she had confessed her true feelings on the lacrosse field. Peter still drove her and Kitty to school everyday accepting yakult from Kitty and his favorite chocolate chip cookies from Lara Jean as payment. They still had movie nights together, sharing popcorn between them as Peter made fun of the 80s movies that Lara Jean subjected him to watch. Lara Jean even let Peter drag her to another party at Gabe’s house where she spent most of the night watching Peter play beer pong (though with kombucha in his cups because he didn’t drink during lacrosse season), laughing when he would flex his arms after sinking a cup or beg her to kiss his ball for good luck before throwing. The only part of their relationship that had changed was the one that was the cause of her current anxiety.

It’s not that Lara Jean has never thought about sex. Her bookshelf did consist of a healthy number of romance novels and not all of them were of the Jane Austen variety. She had read her share of bodice-rippers. So, while Lara Jean may not have ever had it, she was not completely clueless about sex. She hadn’t, however, spent much time thinking of herself as a sexual being and her new relationship with Peter - who had definitely been having sex with Gen - had her regretting not personally exploring her sexuality.

Lara Jean had no doubt that Peter would never pressure her into doing anything. Their physical relationship hadn’t even advanced past kissing yet. Lara Jean knew that they would have to have a conversation about sex at some point, but they hadn’t had a chance to be alone at either one of their houses since getting together for real, and Lara Jean was not about to have that conversation where others could overhear.

The cause of her current freak-out in the cafeteria was brought about by last night's activities in Peter’s car. Peter had just parked his car in front of her house after they had grabbed milkshakes at the diner. His lacrosse team would be in Maryland for a tournament over the weekend, so he would be missing school tomorrow and Lara Jean wouldn’t see Peter until Monday. They usually sat in his car for a few minutes before saying goodnight, however Lara Jean had noticed that Peter appeared more tense than usual that night, nervously drumming his fingers on the steering wheel.

“Peter, what’s got you so wound up?” she asked, unbuckling her seat belt and turning more towards him.

“This is a big tournament,” he told her, looking through the windshield. “There will be a few scouts there from top programs and I need to have a good tournament if I want to get a scholarship.” 

Peter had shared with her on several occasions how hard his mother worked at her shop to provide for him and his brother and how he hoped to get a lacrosse scholarship for college to help her out. 

“Peter,” Lara Jean said, grabbing one of his hands from the wheel and linking their fingers together, “You’ve been practicing so hard and you are going to do great. I know it.”

Peter’s cheeks flushed under her gaze and his eyes darted down to their linked fingers, squeezing his slowly.

“Can I get a good luck kiss?” he asked, brushing his thumb along the back of her hand. Peter’s soft touches still gave Lara Jean butterflies, and she couldn’t help but smile as she leaned towards him, their lips meeting halfway over the center console.

Their kiss started softly at first, with his lips just a light pressure against hers, though Peter smoothly deepened the kiss when he released their linked hands and brought his to lightly grasp the back of her head to draw her in closer to him. Lara Jean drew her knees underneath her on the seat and pushed both her hands on the center console so that she was kneeling down over him to kiss him.

“Lara Jean,” Peter mumbled as he drew away from her lips and started mouthing at her jaw and down her neck. The hand not in her hair crept down her side and made a home at her waist, squeezing tighter as the kiss continued.

His lips on her neck had Lara Jean aware of the slowly pooling heat between her legs, which only grew as he slipped his hand into the back pocket of her jeans. A small moan passed her lips without her permission and she quickly grabbed his face and brought his lips back to hers to hopefully hide it. She could tell she wasn’t completely successful by the smirk she could feel on his lips, but she was quickly distracted by a tapping noise on her window.

Pulling away abruptly from Peter, almost falling back into her seat with a shout, Lara Jean looked over her shoulder to see Kitty smiling and waving through her car window. Kitty motioned for Lara Jean to roll down the window. 

“Hi Peter, LJ!” Kitty said, as soon as the window was down. Looking at Lara Jean, she continued “Daddy told me to tell you that you need to say goodnight to Peter and that I shouldn’t come inside without you.”

Glancing at Peter who was now taking deep breaths while leaning his head back against the seat, Lara Jean turned to Kitty and said, “I’ll be right there” and rolled up the window before she could get a response. 

“Good luck Peter,” Lara Jean quietly said, kissing his cheek before opening the door and stepping out of the car.

As she and Kitty walked towards their front door, Lara Jean couldn’t help but think about what would have happened if Kitty hadn’t interrupted them. Would they have gone further? Was she ready to go further with Peter? How far was she comfortable going? The cool air helped to physically calm her down, but her thoughts were racing as she reached forward to open the door.

“Lara Jean!” Kitty whisper-shouted, grabbing her arm and pulling her back from the front door.

“OW. What Kitty?” Lara Jean asked, turning around to face her sister.

“Geez. Don’t shoot the messenger,” Kitty said with her hands up, “ I just thought I would suggest you let your hair down so that Daddy won’t see that hickey on your neck.”

Kitty pushed past Lara Jean and through the door as Lara Jean took a few seconds to release her ponytail from its scrunchie and smooth her hair down the sides of her face. Thankfully, Daddy had apparently made his way to his room after sending Kitty on her mission, so Lara Jean was able to slip upstairs to her bedroom without having to hide the mark on her neck. She quietly engaged the lock on her door with a click and then stepped over a mound of laundry before face planting on her bed.

* * *

With Peter away at his tournament, Lara Jean has all of Friday at school to think about the previous night. She liked what they had done last night in his car. It was the first time that his lips had ventured away from her lips and she is surprised by how sensitive her neck is. Any thoughts of going further than they had last night, however, make Lara Jean’s heart feel like it is going to pound out of her chest. The thing is, even though Lara Jean has read about sex before and had received an embarrassingly detailed sex talk from her Dad when she and Peter started fake dating, she still feels totally clueless when it comes to physical intimacy.

Lara Jean isn’t nervous about her being physical with Peter. She knows that guys, especially 17-year-old ones, are simple to figure out when it comes to sex. But what causes Lara Jean anxiety is that she doesn’t know what she likes or dislikes when it comes to her own body. She briefly considers facetiming Margot that night for sisterly advice, but quickly decides that she might learn more about Josh than she wants to know by asking her sister about sex. 

Scanning across the cafeteria, Lara Jean’s eyes catches Gen’s figure sitting at a table surrounded by her usual group of friends. Even if Lara Jean doesn’t like her, she can appreciate how confident Gen is and how she is clearly comfortable with her own body. Of course Peter’s ex-girlfriend has to be the most self-confident girl in the school. She knows that Peter and Gen had lost their virginities to each other, so all of his sexual experiences came from her. This thought brings all sorts of questions to Lara Jean’s head. What if she didn’t like what Gen had liked? What is Peter thought she was bad at sex because the things that worked on Gen didn’t work on her? What if -

“Have you developed a crush on my cousin now too? You’ve been staring at her for thirty seconds,” Chris’s voice interrupts Lara Jean’s thoughts and she quickly turns her attention to her friend who is taking a seat across the table from her. 

“Nothing like that,” Lara Jean replies, a plan forming in her head, “It’s a bit stuffy in here. Let’s go eat on the bleachers outside.” She swings on her backpack and grabs Chris’s hand before she can answer, pulling her through the double doors towards the bleachers.

After they’ve settled down on the far bleachers away from other groups of students eating outside, Lara Jean opens her lunch box and pulls out her bag of baby carrots, offering one to Chris. Chris takes the carrot and pops one into her mouth, crunching away loudly as she looks across the field.

Nervously picking at the bag, Lara Jean looks down at her hands and asks, “So, you’ve had sex before, right?” Lara Jean already knows that Chris has had sex with multiple people. Chris telling had told her the tale of losing her virginity and occasionally shared details of the hook-ups she has had after concerts or parties.

Clearly not expecting these words, Lara Jean hears that Chris has abruptly stopped chewing her carrot.

“Is everything okay, LJ? Is Peter pressuring you into having sex?” Chris asks.

“No, Peter’s being the perfect gentleman,” Lara Jean looks up and holds Chris’s gaze, “I just need someone to talk about sex with and you’re the only girl I can talk to about this." 

“Okay, but if Peter starts pressuring you, I will mess him up.” Chris has always been protective of Lara Jean, usually only coming into play when it came to her cousin.

Lara Jean feels her cheeks heat up as she asks, “How did you learn to like sex?”

Chris lets out a chuckle at her question. “Let me tell you, LJ, I lost my virginity two years ago and I didn’t know until last summer that I had been having bad sex.”

Lara Jean’s eyebrows raise in surprise, “What made the sex bad? How did you start having good sex?”

“It might be different with you and Peter since you’re in a relationship and will probably have sex together a lot so you’ll learn what you both like, but my hook-ups are usually short-lived and the guys sometimes only have one chance to show me a good time” Chris explains, “so after leaving one party frustrated after a guy couldn’t get me there, I decided to spend some time alone, if you know what I mean, to figure out what really got me going. And once I figured out how to have good sex with myself, I was able to show the guys I was with how to make sex with them good for me.”

* * *

So that is how Lara Jean finds herself locked in her bedroom on a Friday night, having told Kitty and her dad that she had a headache and would be going to bed early. Resolved to figure out what she liked this weekend while Peter was away, Lara Jean grabbed several books off her bookshelf and the Cosmopolitan magazine from her backpack and began researching.


	2. Self-Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lara Jean takes advantage of a night alone to figure out what she likes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter and all future chapters are definitely for mature audiences only.

“You can do this,” Lara Jean tells herself as she looks around her bedroom.

She had spent several hours the previous night flipping through magazines and scrolling through internet forums to figure out the best way to go about… masturbation. Even alone in her room, her cheeks still flushed with embarrassment when she thought about what she was about to do.

“Masturbation is perfectly normal,” she affirms to herself, “Guys do it all of the time and they don’t feel embarrassed about it.” Her internet searches on the topic had brought her to quite a few feminist forums that discussed the double-standard that existed between men and women when it came to self-pleasure. From her research last night, Lara Jean knew that she was going to have to be in the right mood to reach her goal. As luck would have it, Daddy was on-call at the hospital and Kitty was at a friend’s birthday party, so she had the house to herself and didn’t have to worry about interruptions. Still, she double-checks that her bedroom door is locked before starting.

Walking into her en-suite bathroom, Lara Jean checks that the temperature of the water in her bathtub isn’t too hot before dropping in a bath bomb. The magazines claimed that a warm bath and a glass of wine would help set the mood, but she had to settle for a warm bath and the mug of salted caramel hot chocolate sitting on the ledge of her tub. Lara Jean slips out of her clothes and settles herself into the bath.

Lara Jean starts to feel the tension of the past few days release as she soaks in the water. She knows that she lives too much in her own head sometimes and she’s thankful that Peter has been helping her stop overthinking every little thing. Taking a sip of her hot chocolate, she’s reminded of the winter ski trip and her and Peter’s time in the hot tub. Although that night is usually overshadowed by the subsequent invasion of privacy and temporary breakup, she still remembers how comfortable Peter made her feel in that moment even when she was experiencing something new that would have normally overwhelmed her.

She remembers how solid Peter’s arm muscles felt as they dragged her through the water to hover over his lap. The first slip of his tongue into her mouth had surprised her, but his tongue had gently guided hers even when she had no idea what she was doing. His hands loosely held her waist, not pressuring her fully into his lap but assuring her that he wanted her close. Even now, Lara Jean never doubted that Peter wanted her close to him. And she wanted him close to her too.

Pulling out the stopper in the drain, Lara Jean steps out of her bath and towels off, wrapping the towel around her body as she walks into her bedroom. She picks up her phone from the nightstand next to her bed and turns on a playlist that she made that morning during breakfast and nods along as R&B starts playing from her bluetooth speakers. Before powering down her phone, she sends Peter one last text of encouragement for his tournament.

Lara Jean drops the towel on the floor and lays on her back in the middle of her bed. She can’t help but feel awkward as she lies naked on her comforter, but thinks back to some of her research that reinforced that keeping the mind engaged was important in female self-pleasure. So Lara Jean closes her eyes and lets her mind drift off to Thursday night in Peter’s car. His lips sucking her neck and his hand on her butt had definitely made her want to clench her thighs together. What if instead of being interrupted by Kitty, Peter had been bold enough to pull Lara Jean into his lap. He wouldn’t hold her gently like in the hot tub, but firmly press her into his lap so she could feel his hardness there.

Lara Jean can feel a tingling between her legs. She brings her hands to cup her breasts as she think about how Peter would slide his hands under her shirt and lightly squeeze her breasts through her shirt. She would remove his shirt and toss it into his backseat and watch as hers would follow. He would look at her with wide eyes and start kissing down her neck, this time unhindered by a shirt collar and mouthing at the top of her breasts that are spilling out of her bra. He would say something crude like, “Covey, I could live the rest of my life with my face buried between your tits,” and Lara Jean would rock on his lap to relieve some of the building pressure.

Keeping her left hand on her breast, Lara Jean moves her right hand further down her body, noticing the increase in temperature as her fingers make their way past her pubic hair. She imagines that it is Peter using his index finger to circle her entrance spreading the moisture there before entering her slowly. She is taken out of the moment briefly as she considers the physical sensation of having her own finger inside her vagina, but refocuses and starts stroking the inside of her walls with her finger. Lara Jean can feel the pressure building inside of her and wants to chase it to completion. She adds a second finger and moans at the feeling of fullness as she keeps slowly withdrawing her fingers before plunging them back in. The movement becomes smoother as she feels herself becoming wetter and wetter.

Peter would know that Lara Jean wouldn’t be able to come with penetration alone, so he would use his thumb to rub small circles over her clitoris. Lara Jean feels her breath coming faster as her thumb on her cliltoris has her muscles tightening. Feeling close, Lara Jean speeds up her fingers and pinches her nipple until she feels herself falling over the ledge and her walls squeezing her fingers so tightly they can barely keep moving. She keeps rubbing her clitoris as she sees fireworks behind eyes and all of her muscles release their tension. Taking deep gasping breaths, she removes her fingers from inside her and opens her eyes slowly, blinking rapidly to adjust her eyes to the light. She lays sprawled on her bed for a few minutes, reveling in the glow of her first orgasm.

Reflecting on what she just did, Lara Jean considers her thoughts on sex and relationships. She’s starting to understand now Chris’s more laissez-faire attitude towards sex. While Lara Jean still can’t see herself having sex with essentially a stranger, she can see now how her romance novels have, ironically enough, romanticized sex into being the ultimate physical demonstration of love. But her masturbation today has shown another purpose for sex: pure pleasure. Sighing to herself and thinking about Peter’s return on Monday, Lara Jean can’t wait until they have another opportunity to be more intimate.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Huge thanks to everyone who is reading, commenting, and/or sending their kudos!


	3. Study Break

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A study break provides Lara Jean with an opportunity to share her newfound sexual freedom with Peter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This will be the final full-fledged chapter in this fic so it will be marked as complete, but I may eventually add drabble-length chapters (one will be added at the same time as this chapter).
> 
> \---

It’s not until two weeks after Peter’s tournament -he won his team’s tournament MVP award and had even earned an invitation to a recruit camp that summer- that Peter and Lara Jean finally have a conversation about their relationship. 

They’re home alone at Peter’s house after school on a Wednesday, Peter finally having a rare off day from lacrosse. Lara Jean is helping Peter study for the U.S. history exam they both have that Friday. 

“Ugh, how am I supposed to keep all of these dead white guys straight, Covey?” Peter turns towards her with an exasperated sigh, “If I don’t know the answer I’m just going to put Henry Clay. I swear, that dude appears in every chapter of this book.” He waves his textbook around in the air before tossing it on the couch across the room. 

“Peter!” Lara Jean scolds, “Go get that book! We’re not done studying!” 

“I think I’m more interested in studying you right now,” he says with a smirk, bringing her face closer to his and pressing a kiss to her lips. “We’ve got time for a study break,” Peter murmurs across her lips. Lara Jean silently agrees by scooting closer to him where they’re sitting next to each other on the floor and draws him into a deeper liplock. 

Several minutes pass as their tongues wrap around each other and Lara Jean is barely resisting the urge to climb into Peter’s lap. Instead, she settles for running her hand down his chest until they reach their final destination of his abs. She can feel his muscles contract under her fingers and slowly starts stroking his abdomen. 

Peter abruptly pulls away from her lips, making a noise that is a cross between a gasp and a cough as he puts some distance between their bodies. 

“Peter, what’s wrong?” Lara Jean asks. 

“Umm,” Peter’s voice is rougher and deeper than she has ever heard it as he clears his throat, “I, uh, just thought that it would be good to talk about, um…” His cheeks are bright red and he’s looking everywhere except her eyes. 

“About what?” she prods. 

“Sex, Lara Jean! We should talk about sex!” 

She giggles before teasingly asking, “What about sex do you want to talk about?” Lara Jean knows this is a long overdue conversation, but she feels so much more ready to have it now than she did two weeks ago and can even have it with a sense of humor. 

Clearly taken aback by her lack of shyness, Peter opens and closes his mouth several times before saying, “Well, you know that I’ve had sex before and I know that you haven’t,” she nods for him to continue, “And I want you to know that we can take the pace as slow as you want, I’m absolutely fine with waiting. You are the captain of this ship.”

Lara Jean sets her hand on his thigh and slowly presses their lips together and quietly says, “I appreciate that Peter Kavinsky.”

His face still close to hers, he brings his lips to her ear and mumble-whispers, “But Lara Jean, you’ve got to give me some boundaries because you are driving me crazy right now with the things I want to do to you.”

Lara Jean starts to feel the beginning warmth of arousal between her legs and thoughtfully considers Peter’s request for boundaries. Moving her hand slowly up and down his thigh, she replies, “I’ve been thinking about the things I want you to do to me,” She hears him swallow loudly. “And I’m not ready for full-on sex yet because I definitely want to try everything before we get to that. But I don’t want to set boundaries, Peter. I want us to explore each other together without fear of crossing a line. I’ll let you know if I’m uncomfortable. What do you think of that?” She pulls their slightly away so that they are looking into each other’s eyes. 

“Who are you and what have you done with my girlfriend?” He asks incredulously with furrowed eyebrows. “Just last month you almost had a panic attack when I kissed you without my shirt on after practice and now you’re saying no boundaries? You can understand why I’m kind of confused here, Covey” 

She surprises him when she positions herself in a kneeling position above his lap. Still somewhat embarrassed to think of her late-night activities of the last several weeks, she draws her lips to his ear again so he can only feel and not see the flushing of her cheeks, “You’re right this is a change for me, but I think it’s a positive one. I was a bit anxious after our… good night kiss that got interrupted by Kitty, so I talked with Chris at school the next day and she gave me some advice and now I feel like I’m ready for more.” 

Not letting her off easy, Peter draws back so that they’re eye to eye again and asks, “What advice?” 

‘ _ You’re a big girl, Lara Jean, _ ’ She tells herself, as she instinctively wants to melt into a puddle or hide herself in a closet. ‘ _ You shouldn’t be doing it if you can’t talk about it. _ ’ Taking a deep breath, she blurted, “I’vebeentouchingmyself.” 

Smiling broadly, Peter lets out a laugh, “Sorry, Covey, I don’t think I caught that word vomit. You’ve been what now?”

Lara Jean glares at him briefly before sternly chastising, “I think you heard clearly. I’ve been touching myself for a few weeks now -”

“Woah, woah, woah. Fuck, Covey,” Peter’s hands squeeze her thighs tightly as he interrupts, “Are you telling me that you’ve been masturbating thinking about...?”

“Yes, Peter Kavinsky, that’s exactly what I’m telling you. And now I want you to touch me.” Feeling bold, Lara Jean settles her weight into his lap and firmly presses her lips to his, almost immediately bullying her tongue into his mouth. Peter is quick to get with the program and holds her securely in his lap, unconcerned that his hardness is pressing into her. Lara Jean’s hands make their way back to his abs at the same time that one of his hands travels up her side to gently squeeze one of her breasts. 

“Peter,” she moans, rocking slowly into his lap as she feels herself become wetter. Several minutes pass like this with Lara Jean pressing into his lap and their tongues battling. 

“Fuck, Lara Jean,” Peter mumbles as his lips start nibbling down her chin towards her neck. Lara Jean lifts her head to give him better access and rocks harder down on his lap as his lips attach to a sensitive area of her neck, causing a moan to escape. 

“Don’t stop, Peter,” She says as she chases completion rubbing herself on his hardness. She can feel that she’s almost there, being helped along by Peter’s own slow upward thrusts. Needing one last push to fall over the edge, Lara Jean grabs the breast not currently in Peter’s hand and squeezes, launching herself into an orgasm.

“Peter!” She moans as she hooks her chin over his shoulder and comes down from her high, stilling her hips. 

“Fuck,” Peter’s voice is gravely as a speaks. Still thrusting his hips, he strangles out, “Lara Jean, that was so hot. I’ve got to-” 

“Peter!” They hear his mother call from the garage door.

“Shit!” Peter shoves Lara Jean off his lap, sending her tumbling to the side, “Fuck, I need to- My mom can’t see me like this,” he whispers, raking a hand through his hair. Lara Jean quickly scans his body and mentally agrees that his mom will know exactly what they were doing between his flushed face and tented sweatpants. 

“Hurry,” Lara Jean pushes Peter towards the staircase, “I’ll tell her that you had to find a notebook from upstairs.”

“In the living room, Mrs. Kavinsky!” Lara Jean calls. 

\---

Lara Jean helps Owen and Peter’s mom unload groceries from the car and bring them into the kitchen. 

“You’re more than welcome to stay for dinner, Lara Jean,” his mom offers as she opens the fridge.

“Thank you, Mrs. Kavinsky, but it’s my night to make dinner at home, so I’m going to ask Peter to drive me home once he comes back down.” Lara Jean replies as she hears heavy footsteps make their way towards the kitchen. 

“I must have left that notebook in my locker,” Peter says as he walks in, kissing his mom on the head as he asks, “Need any help, Mom?” Lara Jean can’t help but smirk as she notices that he is now wearing a pair of jeans. 

“No, honey, I’m fine. But you should take Lara Jean home now so that she can get home to cook dinner. Dinner here should be ready in an hour,” Mrs. Kavinsky says as she starts chopping vegetables. 

Taking that as a dismissal, Peter and Lara Jean walk back into the living room so that Lara Jean can gather her things into her backpack. They clean the space in silence and head outside to make the short drive to her house. As soon as Peter starts the ignition, Lara Jean starts giggling. 

“That was not funny Covey,” Peter says smiling as he pulls out of the driveway. 

“Come on, Peter, that was pretty funny. Nice pants by the way!” She says cheekily. 

“You only say that because your hot boyfriend brought you off before we got interrupted while I had to… help myself.” They laugh together until they drift into a comfortable silence interrupted only by the soft tunes of the radio. 

“I owe you one, Peter Kavinsky,” Lara Jean says as Peter parks in front of her house. She plants a kiss on his cheek and lets herself out of his car. 

“I knew it! You’re trying to kill me, Covey” Peter shouts out his open car window.


	4. Fantasize

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Drabble from Peter's POV the night of their study break.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Be warned: Peter's POV is much cruder than Lara Jean's  
> \---

‘ _Lara Jean Song-Covey will absolutely be the death of me,_ ’ Peter thinks to himself as he walks upstairs to his bedroom following dinner with his mom and Owen. He might as well not have been at the dinner table that night as he was too distracted thinking about Lara Jean to carry on a conversation. He can’t even remember what he just finished eating. He had begged out of dinner at the first opportunity, claiming he still had homework to finish. 

Peter opens up his history book on his desk in an attempt to buckle down and study for the test on Friday. Although Peter might not be a straight-A student like Lara Jean, he did need to maintain good grades so that he could get a lacrosse scholarship. “But this shit is so boring,” he moans as he re-reads the same sentence about the Monroe Doctrine. He wishes Lara Jean was here to make studying at least somewhat bearable… and so that he could enjoy another “study break.” His dick is hardening just thinking about their study break.

“Fuck it,” Peter thinks, standing up from the desk and locking his bedroom door. He had already jerked himself off in his bathroom while his mother and Lara Jean were downstairs chatting, but that orgasm was out of necessity; he was way past the point of no return earlier to settle for a nasty case of blue balls. Now, though, he had all of the time in the world to really work himself and enjoy the orgasm he would have thinking about Lara Jean. Peter unbuttons his jeans and kicks them off, leaving them in a pile on his floor as he makes his way towards his bed. Making a quick stop to grab lube from his nightstand drawer, Peter sits up against his headboard and closes his eyes.

His ego could barely handle his amazingly hot and normally shy girlfriend telling him that she touched herself thinking about him. Peter rubs his hand lightly back and forth over his dick through his boxers as he feels himself harden further. Before their conversation today, Peter was convinced that his right hand would be his new long-term best friend in a way it hadn’t been in over a year since he lost his virginity to Gen. Lara Jean had been nervous about kissing and PDA when they were fake-dating, so it wasn’t a huge jump to think she was gun-shy about almost all physical affection. “Damn, I’m glad that I was wrong,” he thinks as he remembers the way they frotted against each other earlier.

Now fully hard, Peter lifts his hips up so that he can push down his boxers, his erection springing up against his stomach. Quickly uncapping the lube and pouring a bit into his hand, Peter loosely circles his hand around his dick and begins slowly fisting up and down. He fantasizes about Lara Jean in her bedroom completely naked with her fingers inside her opening, thrusting her fingers in and out as she moaned his name, imagining it him inside of her causing her pleasure. Tightening his grip and speeding up hand, Peter thinks about how tight and wet Lara Jean would be wrapped around him.

His fantasy changes into Lara Jean riding him on his bed in a similar position to what they were in earlier in the living room. While Peter knew they had so many more firsts to have before having full-on sex yet, he couldn’t help but think about what their sex would be like when they did start having it. Lara Jean would be greedily chasing her own orgasm as she rode him, holding his head to her chest as he sucked on her breasts. “Peter, don’t stop,” she would say head thrown back in ecstasy. He starts thrusting his hips up chasing his fist as he imagines her reaction as fantasy-Peter presses his thumb to her clit. She would start screaming his name as she started to tighten around him in a vice-like grip.

Peter could feel that he was close and used his other hand to roll his balls in his hand. After catching her breath following her orgasm, Lara Jean would mumble into his ear “Go for it Peter, I owe you one.” Jerking himself even faster, he imagines that he would flip Lara Jean so that she would be on her back with her legs wrapped around him and he would just pound into her, all rhythm lost. 

“Lara Jean,” Peter moans as he starts coming, semen spurting onto his stomach as he slowly fists his dick through his orgasm. Reveling in his post-orgasm glow, Peter wipes the mess off of his body and tosses the tissue onto his nightstand for later disposal. Stretching out onto his back with loose limbs, his eyes start to feel heavy as feels himself drifting off.

  
“ _If this is death by Lara Jean, I’ll take it,_ ” is Peter’s last thought as he succumbs to the darkness.


End file.
